WE ALL HAVE CHOICES

WOW, Obama "routs" Clinton". Well how about that? I may have to re-think what I'm going to do?

I just can't help thinking what MY mother would say if "I" ran for president. (But then she's only ONE NEGATIVE PERSON) Now, I've been "clean & sober" for almost 25 yrs, and I've been referred to as a "community leader and activist" by our local newspaper for over 10 yrs now. But, GEEZ Louise, I wouldn't dream of running for a political office. Even though I stood on a stage giving a commencement speech to seniors in 1996, and told my story of drug use in my 20's, I still don't like re-living my old life. Running for office, your opponent in his/her bid to win sometimes goes dirty and digs up your old dirt. I'm not the one. Just let me live my life, being a GIVER NOW! Let old dogs lie. I made bad choices, that in one way or another made me who I am now. That old life has given me the insight and street knowledge to not let these kids pull the wool over MY EYES. I tell them, "YOU CAN'T KID A KIDDER!" My ex called me sneaky. Well, I'm just a couple of years past raising TWO teenagers who got in-and-out of trouble, and I put their little butts in-and-out of juvie playing TOUGH LOVE. They turned into wonderful young men. Although, Ernie was killed at 25 by a drunk driver, he was a giver, and wise well beyond his years giving all his friends and acquaintances the best of advice. And, my youngest, now 25, and he's been the closing manager of a restaurant for the past 2 1/2 years. He also has a giving heart and NEVER misses work. Going over a year without calling in sick, twice since being employed.

My 25 yr old son and I were talking recently and I said, "Everyone has a choice of roads to take, no matter where you come from." He said to me, (and I even took the time to write down this quote) "But, some people can't live with the decisions they've made." Last night on The First 48, I heard Lt Toney Armstrong say almost the exact same thing. How true that is, and the reason I started The Moms' House and Youth Unlimited Partnership (YUP!) We focused on what the kids were GOOD at. Not what they did wrong.

As parents, we PRAY that our children make it through these years. I thought Ernie had made it. I remember at 19, we were driving up Ruddell Road in Lacey and he said of two friends (a brother & sister) who were not attending school regularly, (now, don't forget I was the TOUGH LOVE type of parent, my kids went to school EVERY day OR ELSE!!!, he even USED to call me a SNITCH,) "What do you expect? They have no discipline," came spouting out of his mouth, to my disbelief. Had ERNIE really just said kids need DISCIPLINE?

Now, you may be saying, 'Well, he's 19, of course he's growing up,' BUT you must agree that most of us don't acquire "mortality" until we're 25-30 yrs old. That ol' 'It won't happen to me' attitude.' Acknowledging that kids do NEED discipline is a biggie!

I thought MAYBE when he was 25 this sort of comment might occur to him, but he WAS a smart and thoughtful young man who'd seen more than his fair share of life. What a revelation, I was smiling inside, my boy was REALLY growing up....

Now, I make it sound like he was a bad a**, and he had been in some trouble (smoking pot, stuff like that -no robbing people or stores, mostly just dirty UA for pot) when he was 15/16, but by the time he was 18, things were really looking up. I think because he was doing SO well in school and staying out of trouble otherwise, his PO just stopped taking UA's. He ran for and was elected his school's ASB VICE PRESIDENT at the end of his SOPHOMORE YEAR. Pretty good, huh? He was also involved in FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) Lettered in both ASB & FBLA in Sophomore & Junior years. He got his GED his Junior year then pursued his music career. He was heading to a VERY high-end music college in Florida (he'd all by himself gotten all the loans etc., for the tuition) when he was killed in 2004. Snuffed out just like that on a trip to Safeway to get his morning Lipton Ice Tea. David James Butterton, age 28 gave my stone cold sober boy a ride to the store. A show-off by nature, he decided to drive 80+ MPH around the 25mph curve losing control screeching sideways around the curve hitting the tree broadside right at the passenger door, like an explosion the man across the street said, shaking my whole house, killing my beautiful, beautiful boy INSTANTLY. It took two fire stations deployments, a generator and the jaws of "life" to get him untangled from that car that was literally wrapped around that big white oak tree. That tree shouldn't even be in the line of fire of that curve, but I'm told it's a "rare white oak" and can't be cut, so it sits. There have been MANY MANY accidents at that curve. The folks across the street have had their fences crashed into 10-20 times in the past 10-20 years. The telephone poles on both sides of the street have been replaced numerous times, etc., but the COUNTY does nothing to make that curve safer! I have even had the county commissioner AT MY HOME to discuss the crash, and considered a lawsuit, but set that idea aside due to how the mother of Ernie's son was treating me. Didn't want to help her and her mother who've treated me SO HORRIBLY benefit any further from my and my Ernie's horrible tragedy. When that boy grows up we'll help him, but anything now will just go to them, and everytime anyone sees the boy he's filthy. I feel so bad, but I have to stay out of it. Grandparents have NO RIGHTS, so I'm forced, at least for the time being,to keep my mouth shut! Ernie's friends are beside themselves!

Like I said, I was MISS TOUGH LOVE. Ernie spent one third of one year I think he was 16, in juvie for probation violations. Every time he stayed out all night, at those two kids' house (the neighborhood run-away hang-out) I'd call his P.O. and say, "Bob, Ernie stayed out all night again, file a PV." YUP! I was a snitch all right. But, I was trying to save his life. I called the LPD on that mom and that house SO MANY times. File charges for contributing to the delinquency of a minor, I'd beg. But, NO.... They just let it all go on. FOR YEARS!!!!!!

Check out this one:
I had the LPD go there and arrest Ernie right out of her house after SHE had him charged with stealing HER CAR two days prior. He hit a rock with it and left it sitting on the rock and ran back to her house. She thought she was in trouble for loaning her car to him, so she called it in stolen, then hid him out in her house. (He was 16) They (Thurston County Prosecutors) tried to take that charge all the way to trial. We went to the day of trial before they dropped those charges. WHAT a LOT of money the Thurston County Prosecutor wasted on that one! Tried to get him to "plead or we'll add more charges" He turned around and looked at me," What should I do mom?" was the look. I shook my head NO! They don't have auto theft to barter with!!! And they had to drop a couple weeks later. Playing with me and my kid! I'm not the one!!! I know the game!

Being black in a white community is not easy. Ernie lived it. He was one of about two black kids in his first grade school in Tumwater, and it wasn't much better when we moved 10 miles N to Lacey in 1989. AND, me being white, raising a black son was not easy either. I tried to take it easy and not shove my beliefs down people's throats. Let them see my work, get to KNOW ME, see the OUTCOMES, then they'll follow along both in my state job and my community work.

AND, the Lacey police did just that. I remember the first time Lt., now Commander, Suessman apologized to me for being such a butt head previously. "I am SO....... sorry Diane. You are not who I thought you were. If I have to apologize 8 times I will. I had so much fun at the YUP! meeting. Those kids are great." "That's what I've been trying to tell you guys. These are JUST KIDS who need somewhere to hang out, someone to help and guide them." YEAH SUCCESS!

Lacey PD's John Suessman was a GREAT asset to our YUP! program, as was now Lt., then Gang Det Cliff Ziesemer of the Thurston County Sheriff's Office. Cliff, and Detectives. Casey Salisbury, Dave Haller, and Mike Hutnik all came to that FIRST YUP! meeting in October 1997. I remember Cliff leaning over during the break saying, "They're so polite."

I don't know what he expected, but I had prepped these "so-called gang wanna bees". "Do not be accusatory, we're here to discuss. They cannot comment on anything another police agency has done."

We handed out sheets of paper with two columns. One read: What Can Police Do To Get Along Better With Kids; the other column read: What Can Kids Do To Get Along Better With Police. After chatting over dinner with four County Detectives we used the easel to list back and forth how everyone could get along better. It was SO........... cool! All the kids and cops were shaking hands and exchanging phone numbers at the end of the meeting.

Those YUP! meetings started at 6 pm, with a break at 7, the second half would sometimes go past 9:30 p.m. The kids love it, the police or the mayor or the county commission or the school superintendent or whoever we had that week as our speaker loved it. Community and even our Lt Governor has been involved in YUP! since 1997. We have a standing appointing with Lt Gov Brad Owen in Feb for President's Day at his office at the State Capitol. One year he came to our Back-2-School party at Skateland. I think the kids were a bit more intrigued with his plain-clothed State Patrol body guard who they figured out was armed. Asking him all kinds of questions.

I'd get kids coming by my place on the "off" Wednesdays asking, "Isn't there a YUP! meeting tonight?" Meetings were the 1st & 3rd Wednesday Sept - June. Summers we didn't schedule speakers as the attendance slacked off, but during the school years '97-2001, we had up to 40 for the twice monthly YUP! meetings.

AH Gosh I'm ranting today. I am just passionate about "MY KIDS"!!!